The Mat

As I walked through the chapel doors, I was about knocked over by the palpable sense of strength and courage that filled the room. It only intensified as we worshiped in song together. It so overwhelmed me, I almost had to sit down, but I remained steadfast in prayer, thanking God for bringing everyone there that night and for the opportunity to be in their presence.

My fellow worshipers were not pastors, nor church leaders nor any famous Christians. No, I was surrounded by substance abusers, addicts and people who have done time, people who were abused and those who have abused, some who have torn apart marriages and some who have had their marriages torn apart, others who have been sexually abused as children and still others married to pedophiles.

There was definitely desperation, pain and grief in the room as well, but it was infinitely overpowered by the strength these people brought with them to simply cross the threshold of that church and participate in this attempt at recovery. At least that's what I felt.

Did they feel it too? Did they know just how courageous they were to bring themselves there, broken, bruised, abandoned, addicted and betrayed, yet armed with hope for a better life and the will to DO something about it. Never in my life had I felt so honored to share in worship with a group of people.

I love them. They are real people. They are messed up. And so am I. And so are all of us because we are human. But they are admitting to it and seeking freedom from their mess. They are not weak for wanting help, they are heroic. I am blessed that a handful of these same people are my friends from my church. A couple of them have grown to be like family. Indeed, I am blessed beyond words.

But me? I'm a scaredy cat. Until my faith and hope outweigh my fear and concern, I am stuck here. Like those who I've heard come and park their car in the parking lot of this church we were visiting and can't will themselves to enter it, or those who drive into the parking lot only to circle back around to the exit. No, I don't have similar life histories as these folks, no big trauma or tragic event or addiction. Still, why can't I swallow my pride and regularly admit I need help or that I messed up, or that some part of my life just plain sucks and I want it better? I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this. We all need to rub shoulders more with people who motivate us to keep it real.

After experiencing this worship service and recovery ministry, and meeting with the pastor and other leaders, those of us from my church left feeling inspired and convinced that this was a necessary ministry for our church to start. Many also had a clearer sense of how they could minister to those who are experiencing what they have recovered from. I, for one, am excited about a ministry like this. I have no idea how I would be involved, all I know is that it is amazing to be around people who are willing to surrender so much of themselves at the foot of the cross. They get it. They totally get it, more than the Christian who "has it all together." *Points at self*

On Earth as It is In Heaven

The week before last was unbelievable and I was on a spiritual high. It was such a gift from God because I could just feel heaven breaking through in very tangible ways and through me as an agent!

On Monday, Tey prayed to ask Jesus to be his forever friend. On Sunday night before bed we had read a book about Jesus and he asked a lot of questions. He told me then that he wanted to pray the next day to ask Jesus into his heart. I had completely forgotten about it, until out of the blue he reminded me. I played devil's advocate to make sure this was what he wanted to do and he didn't feel pressured or anything. Then I re-explained salvation in terms he could understand and drew him a picture. Corban drew a different one and explained it in his words, which were very similar to this:

Then we all held hands and I led him through prayer. That instantly changed the mood of the day, when it started off with me being a total crabby pants.

On Tuesday, I had my last Disciple Bible study through my church. It has been an intensive past 10 months, but I have grown so close to a handful of powerful women for God. I've also delved more deeply into scripture than I ever have before. This study has brought up several more questions for me and several topics that I am still chewing on, but overall it has strengthened my desire to follow the way of Jesus Christ as I have come to understand it and his call on my life. On this last day we took turns talking about each other's spiritual gifts. I was enlightened, challenged and inspired as each of these women concurred with what another said about how God uniquely created me to contribute to my community and my world. One gift was being outspoken and truthful on social justice issues, so I think I need to gain more confidence in sharing about what God lays on my heart, particularly about what is not mainstream among Christians. Thanks, gals for seeing me how God sees me!

On Wednesday, we got to take care of our second Safe Families child. Another family is hosting and we volunteered to provide childcare during the day as both host parents work full time.

Do not forget to entertain strangers, 

for by so doing some people have entertained angels 

without knowing it.

- Hebrews 13:2

Indeed this newborn is an angel and I know it! 

Thursday was insanity as I prepared for the weekend ahead. On Friday I brought the children to the Prairie Wildlife State Park because I won tickets to Enlightenment Day of their Olde English Faire. Basically it's like a Renaissance faire, but a greater focus on teaching. Then we raced home in an insane storm to prepare for a our Great American Backyard Campout to celebrate Bean turning seven and Tey turning five. The rains didn't dampen the spirits of my kids and their friends during the 16 hours we spent partying (well, some sleeping too). 

Making and maintaining friendships is an important lifelong lesson that has been an intentional but difficult process for my kids. Seeing my children enjoying their friends' company and having fun outdoors together is an answered prayer in the making over the past handful of months. I had fun too! Who wouldn't love it when you're scarfing down grilled meats, catching fireflies, finding nature's treasures in a scavenger hunt, roasting s'mores, and just having a lot of free play?

After our friends packed up their tents (and one camper) and headed home, I headed to Indianapolis to the airport. Friends of ours were arriving from Ethiopia with their adoptive son. Talk about answered prayer! I've been praying for their adoption journey longer than my own children's social development! It was quiet an honor to be there to witness this most precious moment when their four year old daughter came running to welcome them home and to meet her little brother for the first time as they passed through the arrival gate.


I still can't help looking at this and getting flooded with emotions. The love of this family is just overflowing out of this picture and is contagious. I just happened to capture this shot, turning my simple camera phone into an instrument of spreading God's love to and hundreds of people who saw it on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and felt a joy come over them.

I'm not sure if I will ever fall into a pit of despair when my faith will be tried and I will doubt God's existence or love for me. If I ever do, please refer me to this post. It is just so clear to me that when I am willing and commited, God can use me...imperfect, broken me, in community with other believers, to help his kingdom come, his will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Update: So that picture got a lot of exposure between my friends and I through our Facebook and Instagram accounts. Then Jeremiah tweeted it in response to Sports Illustrated writer Richard Deitsch's question to his followers if they had a pictures of the single best moment of their life. Because of that one tweet, my picture of them has been on national television! First on Good Morning America then on CBS Evening News, and Fox and Friends Weekend. It was included on BuzzFeed too. Deitsch started a website called singlebestmoment.com as a collection of the pictures that came in. How unbelievable is that! It's great to be part of Good News ;)

Priceless Christmas 2012

Better late then never: Christmas post. So why and I posting this now? We just finished hosting our first Safe Families child and it brought to the forefront of my mind how nourishing to a child's development it is to be in an environment marked by peace and joy. And cuz I've been busy, aiight, and this was mostly written.
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Bo and I challenged ourselves this year to have a priceless Christmas. We wanted it to be filled with happy family memories, but didn't think that needed to cost anything. It's not because we can't afford to, but because we didn't want to participate in a lot of the commercialism, consumerism and stress that can surround the holidays that are supposed to be characterized by peace and joy.

We are blessed to have extended family who give gifts to our children for Christmas. In fact, there generally is an abundance and outpouring of generosity throughout the year but especially for Christmas, birthdays and Chinese New Year. We truly appreciate this demonstration of love. It gives our children something tangible to enjoy while remembering a loved one who cares so much about them that they spent their hard-earned money on presents our children would like. So it's not like our children are lacking in what has become the traditional gifts of Christmas.

So how did we come to this practice of giving gifts at Christmas anyway? From a Christian perspective, I wrestled this past season with the tradition of gift giving at Christmas. Is it because the wisemen gave gifts to Jesus? But, they were scholars and from a distant land who did not know Jesus personally nor did they interact with him ever again. They gave him extravagant gifts mostly for symbolism of who he was. Is it because God gave us the gift of Jesus? That was the most perfect gift! There's no competing with that. This year, I was more reflective on what Mary's gift was to Jesus, as she was his mother. Mary is a rockstar. Her life gets completely turned upside down, and still she maintains her cool. Peaceful. Joyful. You can't buy that. You can't wrap that.

Being their mom and the #1 person around them the most, I'm in a very unique position to give my children the three priceless gifts that no one else can give as much as I can: attention, affection and appreciation (thanks, Facebook, for the inspiration). Isn't that what all kids want from their parents the most?

Starting in the month of December, I laid the attention, affection, and appreciation on thick for my kids and we experience more peace and joy in this house than ever before. People feel listened to, loved and like they have a special and unique contribution to our family and the world, so there's a whole lot more getting along and fun. It's like magic, but it does take a lot of intentionality and patience...at least for me. It was a change I wanted to make to our home life not just for Christmas, but for our lifetimes because I want my children to remember that kind of mom and that kind of home and not just what I put under the tree.

So yes, we did put gifts under the tree too, but they were few and from the heart. They had minimal cost, but lots of love went into making them.

You can kinda get an idea of the sparseness of the gifts under the three here. This includes our family gifts as well as what my side of the family gave to the children (more on that later).

Bean and I made dough for cinnamon rolls and Tey a I baked them for Christmas breakfast. He learned how to make orange icing. The secret is in the zest! 

I made Mae a button monogram. Look how cute she is saying "M."
I got the buttons cheap from  the I.D.E.A. store and some from a generous friend.

Bo drew a snowy owl for Tey. I love their expressions of awe. 

A couple months ago Bean asked me to draw him a tiger. I took 5 seconds and drew him a cartoon one in markers.  I didn't know until later that he also asked Jon to do one and the result for Christmas was this. My husband never ceases to amaze me with his talents and his dedication to our kids. 

Tey learned to read this year, so I made some  bookmarks of some of his favorite books with the scrap paper from their book jackets.  This will be a encouragement to me too to keep reading to him a bunch. 

For Bo, the younger two and I made carmel corn from Bean's Boy Scout popcorn that were just popping kernels. 

Jon helped the kids make me marshmallows

Mae is the official taste-tester. Yum...soft, pillowy, sweetness, and the marshmallows aren't bad either!!

I also made Bean a shadowbox that holds his Tae Kwon Do belts that he's earned so far (white, yellow, orange and green. I wanted him to know how proud of him I am of his hard work with that and before this they just laid in his closet. Bo made me the most delicious brownies in the world and though I've been sharing, I think I've eaten half the pan just myself. A chocolate treat is a great motivator during the day :) I think Bean spent the most money this Christmas. He bought got everyone but me used books from the Urbana Free Library Book sale.

Mae loved her new book, which was in the style of some others she has. Tey immediately started reading his book. For Bo he picked out an AWESOME vintage edition of all of John James Audobon's paintings. It was perfect because just last week as Bo was finishing his animal drawings for the kids he was contemplating what it was like for JJA to draw all those birds. 

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Months later, looking back, I'm so glad we challenged ourselves to do this. We can see the HUGE positive results for our family dynamic, which has helped prepare us to be available to share our peace and joy with another child, if only for a couple weeks. Hosting a Safe Families child reminded me the importance of loving and secure relationships in the lives of children, regardless of amount of their possessions or toys. 

Teaching the History of Thanksgiving

While preparing for teaching about Thanksgiving last November, I'm pretty sure I did more research and with more enthusiasm than I ever had in any month of my life, even as a PhD student. Something about feeling solely responsible for my children's education motivated me to get my facts straight before passing it on to them. It was also my first month homeschooling too, so I was just plain freaking out.

When it comes to teaching social studies and history, I generally feel incompetent and underprepared, perhaps because as compared to other subjects, I am more critical about what and how I was taught it in school. For my own children's education, I definitely want to provide more context and also emphasize more about social justice, cultural studies, diversity, inclusivity, tolerance, and the link to our Christian faith (whether that paints Christians in a positive or negative light).

Below I review some resources that helped me and my children think more critically about the historical event that we've come to know of as a first Thanksgiving.

For ease and accessibility, I recommend anything by Plimoth Plantation. Plimoth Plantation located in Massachusetts is a museum/recreation of what the first colony of the same name would have looked like in 1627. For those of us in Central Illinois who are not close enough the take a field trip there, their online resources are fantastic. Children will especially enjoy the video game (I use that term loosely) "You are the Historian", where they will virtually explore the Plantation, investigate one of only two only primary sources of information about the first harvest feast, and hear about the Wampanoag people and their culture, particular their traditions of giving thanks. Last year, my 5 year old learned and remembered a lot from these online videos and from another one that we checked out from the library.

Bean's drawing of The Warrior Counselor of the Wampanoag, Habbamok
after watching some videos last year

Everything I've encountered so far by Plimoth Plantation attempts to teach history by encouraging asking questions, investigating primary sources and considering multiple perspectives while respecting cultural differences. These are great foundations to lay for students. It prepares them to investigate the complexities of American history, which is not always to peaceful, friendly, and neighborly as the stories of the first Thanksgiving would have us believe. In addition to the Plimoth Plantation materials, I just piece-mealed what I taught about colonists, Native Americans and Thanksgiving.

I used some basic guiding principles that I read about in this article called "Teaching Young Children about Native Americans." While I don't think it is a comprehensive list of what to do and what not to do, it really got me starting to think about how the history and culture of Native Americans are generally taught. If my child were in regular school too, I think this would help me guide (be it supplement or challenge) what my children are learning outside my home about America's native peoples.

For a more Native perpective on the holiday, "The Real Story of Thankgiving" on the the Manataka American Indian Council website is informative and heart-wrenching. The first two sections are difficult to read, mostly because they are so full of violence, (but isn't our history?). The final section "The Plymouth Thanksgiving Story" however, is geared toward children and tame enough for young and/or sensitive students to read. This should be required reading, really!

"Thanksgiving on the Net: Roast Bull and Cranberry Sauce"can be read on the website for the Society of the Descendants of the Mayflower (I didn't even know there was such a group). It attempts to set the record straight about common myths surrounding Thanksgiving by reviewing over 200 websites. It is cumbersome read at times, but well worth the read if you have the time and interest. If nothing else, I'd skim the main headings and some text. It certainly helped me identify some myths that I incorrectly assumed to be true. As with the previous reference, knowing the bias of the author is important in assessing the value of the piece, and a good lesson to pass on to the kids too!

As we approached Thanksgiving week this year, my husband commented that we haven't really "taught" anything about it yet. No, we have not done any formal lessons on the historical event and national holiday like we did last year. Instead, we have focused on truly being thankful and reflecting on what we are thankful for, as a family and as individuals. It has become part of our daily discussions and prayers. It's so simple I almost feel guilty about it, but it has set a great tone in our household that is so needed to replace the usual hecticness that generally surrounds our winter holidays.

While we may never know the exact and full historical truth about what happened in 1621 that lead to the holiday that we celebrate this week, we certainly can start writing our own stories about what this holiday means or could mean for each of our families. Lately I've been feeling challenged to rethink the deeper meanings of each holiday instead of just going with the flow of what everyone else does. This also includes delving deeper into the history of the holiday and tying that into our current traditions. It just seems that we've gotten too far from that with every holiday on the calendar. I'm completely convinced that having kids is the perfect opportunity to tweak our holiday celebrations if need be so we can better pass on the culture and traditions that are most dear to us. Which are most dear to you? How do they pass on your family history or stray from it?

Happy International Day of Women

Being a mother is a tremendous responsibility, but for a daughter especially. 

I knew a daughter would likely look up to me more than her dad and I wasn't ready for that even when I was pregnant with Tey. Considering that I'm now a SAHM, it's ironic that it wasn't until I had graduated with my PhD and felt stable in my job that I finally felt ready to have a daughter. I was pregnant 2 months after being hired and a couple weeks after finding that out, the sono showed that it was a girl. I cried tears of joy as well as honor that God had chosen me to be her mother.

International Day of Women 2012

Mei is my sunshine. She has changed my life forever and for the better. Nothing and no one inspires me more to be a better woman so I can be a good role model for her. The burden is heavy even as she is just one year old. Though she has no idea about the oppression of our sex, it seems inevitable that she will not only know it, but experience it herself firsthand. 

Too soon will she be told she can't do something just because she is a girl. Too soon will she feel the pressure to dumb down her intelligence just for acceptance. Too soon she will be targeted by ads selling  products promising to make her more attractive to someone else. It both saddens and angers me to no end. 

So for now, I cherish her innocence. Many nights before I put her to bed, I hold her so tightly in my arms as if I can stunt her from growing up. Sometimes, I pray for her so hard that I'm on the verge of tears. I think of this song and it gives me some measure of comfort.

This year, International Day of Women with Mei was free from heavy messages about women's rights, our struggles and overcoming barriers. Instead, today we celebrated with some of Mei's favorites: books about ducks, solving her shapes puzzle, having a friend over to play, and one of our first successful ponytail (with the help of a couple clippies). 

It won't be long before I feel compelled to share with her the larger truth about being a woman, but for now I revel in her accomplishments as a 16th month old girl with nothing to hold her back. I hope that this day can be an annual reflection on Mei's womanhood and how we can foster that fully in other girls. It is with great optimism that I look to our girls' futures and anticipate seeing their potentials become their realities, especially for my own baby girl (who I'm trying to convince myself will always be my baby girl).

Bean Logic: Faith and Feminism

Yesterday:

Me: Martin (Luther King) and Rosa (Parks) worked together
Bean: Martin organized a boycott and Rosa organized a girlcott.

I corrected him on that one.

Bean: I'm going to name my child something from the Bible. I'm going to name one of my kids "Sampson, the strongest man in the world. And I'm going to name one of my kids "Jesus."

Tey: Noooo, that's not right.

Me: [silent giggles]

Today:

Me: Today is International Day of Women. People all over the world are celebrating great things that what women have done. Can you think of any great women? [Hoping he'll say, "You, mom!"]

Bean: God. He is the best woman in the world. He can be a he or a she.
Me: Who told you that?
Bean: I don't know?
Me: Then why do people call God a "he" so much?
Bean: I don't know.
Honestly, I don't remember ever talking about God's gender, but I love playing devil's advocate with him. I assume he's going to get it much worse from other people, so I better give him practice, and a taste of his own medicine.

The Legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

In addition to the birthday breakfast, we've been learning a lot about Dr. King and his life and tragic death. Bean has been copying some of his famous quotes and in doing so has unintentionally (on his part) memorized some too. Funny story, after he wrote one, I asked him what he just wrote and his first response was, "I don't know; I can't remember all that." Then he recited verbatim, "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend." He was surprised by that. What a Sneaky Mommy I am! :) More importantly, we talk about what these quotes mean on an ongoing basis, throughout the day and over the past couple weeks. I really like the practice of reflecting on great thinkers thoughts.

As recommended by Charlotte Mason, for any subject, we rely heavily on living books. By far our favorite about MLK was this beautiful, poetic and short book.

Martin's Big Words: The Life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

It is a perfect introduction book for all my kids because it begins with Martin as a child forming his ideas about equality from his parents and the Bible. It has the author's words in black text and Dr. King's words in other colors. This made it fun to take turns reading with Bean (this was his idea). It emphasized for him the "Big Words" that were Dr. King's non-violent weapons in the fight for equality.

From it we were able to talk about the fairness of segregation laws, the courage needed to stand up for one's beliefs especially if they are against the current law, and the sadness of Dr. King being murdered. It's deep stuff, but we just touched on it. Here is Bean reading his favorite quote in the book, and the second one is another that he memorized from copywork.

Bean and I also worked together on this vocabulary sheet that highlighted a lot of the words we read about but don't hear very often, like "nonviolence," "boycott," "speech." Through conversation, I related the words to his everyday experiences and now we try to use the words more often to talk about the civil rights movement and other topics as well.

Bo and Tey also watched the "I Have a Dream" speech at home and Bean and I went to a public viewing of it followed by a discussion. At this point it is hard to assess what Bean took away from that experience. He asked a few questions during the viewing, but after was not actively listening to the discussion. Still, I participated in it and he was exposed to that, so it at least conveys the importance of reflecting on Dr. King's words and how to engage in dialogue about it while respecting the opinions of others.

I'm excited about Saturday because at a local performing arts center there will be a celebration in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. When we went two years ago it was an absolute blast, though I don't think my kids remember it now. This will likely wrap up my "lesson" so to speak on MLK, but the values we learned over the last view weeks will be carried on and we will continue to emphasize the virtues of Dr. King that are worth emulating for character development.

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Funny things my kids have said in relation to MLK:

Tey: [After someone says "Martin Luther King."] "Martin Luther King, JUNIOR, maybe."

Bean: [Narrating to me a historical fiction story about Martin Luther King as a child and quoting what his mother said.] "Some white folks (which he pronounced "fox" until he asked me what it meant) believe that they are better than we black people."
(Yep, he actually said "we" in reference to being black, but then corrected himself.

Happy Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

As is our family tradition, every birthday is celebrated with a special birthday breakfast, usually picnic style in the bedroom of the birthday person. This Christmas we extended it to a celebrate the birth of Christ...all warm and cozy in front our fireplace. And today, you guess it, our family enjoyed a special breakfast (for dinner) in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. around the dinner table. In addition to the delicious food pictured below, we enjoyed some fun conversation inspired by the food, which was inspired by this important holiday.

It has come to be expected by our kids that birthday breakfasts include cinnamon rolls (we usually for the Pillsbury kind with orange glaze). Because this is now a staple celebratory pastry and I really want to reduce the amount of processed foods we eat, it was on of my bucket list of recipes to learn for this year. I followed this recipe and love the use of orange juice and orange zest. Buh-bye Pillsbury.

With some of the leftover juice, I sprinkled it on our fruit salad. We usually do one very "fun" fruit for birthday breakfast (like mango), but a fruit salad teaches us a lot about appreciation of diversity. The different shapes, colors, textures, and tastes of all the fruit are what makes fruit salad so great! I didn't  mention this to the kids, but it makes me cringe to hear the US referred to as "the melting pot." It sounds like we're all supposed to be exactly the same...kinda like if you pureed my fruit salad. Then you can't appreciate all the unique things that each fruit contributes!

Next going clockwise is a fried egg. You've probably heard of the children's activity where you show them a brown egg and a white egg and talk about how we make look different on the outside, but inside we're all the same.  I can see this going wrong...another "We're-all-the-same" "Our-differences-don't-matter" type-thing. In my opinion, differences do matter, and we should recognize them and appreciate them. So we did. Quite simply, different hens make different eggs, as do ducks, geese, etc. Then Bo transitioned to the more complex issue of judging by first appearances and also brought in MLK's famous quote, "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." We couldn't tell much difference between the two hen eggs based on what was on the inside. The colors and sizes were slightly different, but both kinds were good enough to eat. Once we cooked them, we couldn't tell which was which too, but everyone gladly ate what they were served.

Lastly, we had bacon. We made no significant connection there. It's just another special treat for a special day!

In a future posts, I'll review what we have been doing for the past week or so to teach about Dr. Martin Luther King and also emphasize of the importance of this national holiday. I hope you had a great day off, if you did! If you didn't do something meaningful to you or to your family in honor of MLK yet, I encourage you to do it. It's not too late! It doesn't need to be grand either. Let's just somehow recognize the impact Dr. King has had on this country and the civil rights movement. Let me know how you celebrated too! I like getting new ideas.

Christopher Columbus Would Have Put Me in Track 2

I spent my first nine years of my formal education at a Catholic grade school, in a fairly well-to-do neighborhood, where I was the only student of color in my class until 5th grade. That was when my school absorbed students from three other  parochial schools in the area while their schools of smaller enrollment closed their doors. I remember that a big stink was raised by some in our school about bringing in these other students and part of me now wonders if it was because of the diversity that they represented. 

That year, we welcomed about five new students into my class, 3 of which were tracked into "Track 2," almost doubling its size. This track, which included myself, had lower expectations for academic achievement and also set students on a trajectory for more technical education and then skilled labor. I was not being challenged academically nor was I applying myself. I remember Track 2 not being a good fit, especially once I realized what the difference was between the two groups. I wanted to be in the more challenging track and began actually applying myself academically. By 6th grade, my school allowed me to move into Track 1. My situation, however, was a rare case because generally students stayed in their track through junior high, which then followed them into high school and beyond.

Critically looking back at the situation, Track 1 and 2 were almost completely demarcated along racial and economic lines (based on my knowledge of students' residence in certain parts of certain neighborhoods, my proxy for family income). Students of color and/or those of limited means were in Track 2. I can't think of anyone from these groups who was in Track 1. Whether or not this was intentional by my school is a minor question I have, but more importantly that trend is yet another example to me of the systematic prejudice that exists about abilities of certain groups of people. And for that, it's harder to point a finger of responsibility. 

At least in the States, many prejudices that exist today can be traced back Octotber 12th, 1492.

"...they [Natives] are the color of the Canarians, neither black nor white...They should be good servants and intelligent, for I observed that they quickly took in what was said to them, and I believe that they would easily be made Christians, as it appeared to me that they had no religion. I, our Lord being pleased, will take hence, at the time of my departure, six natives for your Highnesses." (Recorded in Columbus' journal on October 12th, 1492)

The day Christopher Columbus first meets the indigenous people of this land, his first thoughts are of their value as servants and his immediate plans are to take six of them back with him to give to the King. Just imagine how things in the States would have been different if the Americas were "rediscovered" by someone who did not believe in the intrinsic supremacy of wealthy, educated, White, male Catholics (and Christians).

There is a clear link between Columbus' interactions with Native Americans and how I was tracked in grammar school. Tracking doesn't exist to address students' individual learning needs for their own self-betterment through education. If it were for that reason, we'd see more fluidity among the tracks and greater diversity within the tracks. Tracking would be based on assessment and not prescription. Students would also be educated about the implications of being in certain tracks and would have more freedom to chose a track for themselves (even if it meant demonstrating their fit in that identified track).

No, to me it seems that much of the inequality that exists in education is necessary to sustain a hierarchy for the powerful to remain in power. The lower classes are therefore educated only so much as to make them intelligent servants to those in power. In this country that hierarchy began the day that Cristobal Colon set foot on this land.

So, I encourage you to "Reconsider Columbus Day."

"Reconsider Columbus Day" PSA from Carlos Germosen on Vimeo.

There are many Columbus critics out there, and this in example of a fairly reputable one, but nothing can beat one's own deep investigation of primary sources. Eventually with the kids at homeschool, I plan to read through more of Columbus' journal to better understand his thoughts and feelings from his own words and to contextualize it in history. One of the major attractions of homeschooling is teaching history from a more culturally relevant perspective. This weekend we got a bunch a free books from a local library and I purposefully avoided any history or social studies books because as the saying goes "history is written by the victors." I want to make sure my kids are learning a more balanced account of history. I want to place more emphasis on the struggles and the resilience of those who were and are marginalized because in some situations (like with my tracking), I'd count myself as part of that group. 

She Works Hard for the Money...eh, eh...eh, eh

Lazy summer is not in my vocabulary. Despite working at a university, my summers are not downtimes because I coordinate the TRiO Ronald E. McNair Post-Baccalaureate Achievement Program which has an intensive Summer Research Institute of 27 students. Going into this job, I knew that meant that my summers would be intense too.  This year, however, is especially stressful compared to last year, because last year I had a supervisor who was highly involved and did much of the coordinating. This year, I am doing her work, plus my work from last year. Whew! It's been a great learning experience,though. I've always had trouble delegating, but I've had to do that more or else I just couldn't get it all done!

Despite all the stress, I still love this program. As an alumna, I am a success story of the program, having earned my PhD (not to brag, just to point out what the purpose of the program is and my commitment as a scholar). And now, it is truly a privilege to work for McNair and see my Scholars develop over the summer. They come in shy, inexperienced, rough around the edges, and they leave confident, skilled, and polished. I know for me it changed my life in one summer and I hope to do that for my students too.

Unfortunately, McNair and other TRiO programs are financially threatened due to federal budget cuts. The worst case scenario (in my biased opinion) is the very real possibility that ALL McNair programs nation-wide will be defunded. This would be an absolute tragedy. At my institution alone, we've seen at least 34 alumni earn doctorates in the past 5 years. These are earned by people from low-income families, who's parents did not got to college, and/or who are underrepresented in higher education. That is quite a feat!

You can help me possibly save McNair and other TRiO Programs by signing this petition.

I've personally been debating about working and having a family, and if this job is the right fit for me at this time. I'm still thinking and praying about that (and would appreciate your prayers). If this program is defunded, however, I'll be out of a job. More importantly, literally hundreds of thousands of students will be affected.

I'm fighting for this job, even if I were to eventually leave it. I'm working hard for McNair and to get the word out so the feds will keep funding TRiO programs! Thus the reference to Donna Summer's great hit:


What's up with the dude in the yellow shorts and knee guards?