On Earth as It is In Heaven

The week before last was unbelievable and I was on a spiritual high. It was such a gift from God because I could just feel heaven breaking through in very tangible ways and through me as an agent!

On Monday, Tey prayed to ask Jesus to be his forever friend. On Sunday night before bed we had read a book about Jesus and he asked a lot of questions. He told me then that he wanted to pray the next day to ask Jesus into his heart. I had completely forgotten about it, until out of the blue he reminded me. I played devil's advocate to make sure this was what he wanted to do and he didn't feel pressured or anything. Then I re-explained salvation in terms he could understand and drew him a picture. Corban drew a different one and explained it in his words, which were very similar to this:

Then we all held hands and I led him through prayer. That instantly changed the mood of the day, when it started off with me being a total crabby pants.

On Tuesday, I had my last Disciple Bible study through my church. It has been an intensive past 10 months, but I have grown so close to a handful of powerful women for God. I've also delved more deeply into scripture than I ever have before. This study has brought up several more questions for me and several topics that I am still chewing on, but overall it has strengthened my desire to follow the way of Jesus Christ as I have come to understand it and his call on my life. On this last day we took turns talking about each other's spiritual gifts. I was enlightened, challenged and inspired as each of these women concurred with what another said about how God uniquely created me to contribute to my community and my world. One gift was being outspoken and truthful on social justice issues, so I think I need to gain more confidence in sharing about what God lays on my heart, particularly about what is not mainstream among Christians. Thanks, gals for seeing me how God sees me!

On Wednesday, we got to take care of our second Safe Families child. Another family is hosting and we volunteered to provide childcare during the day as both host parents work full time.

Do not forget to entertain strangers, 

for by so doing some people have entertained angels 

without knowing it.

- Hebrews 13:2

Indeed this newborn is an angel and I know it! 

Thursday was insanity as I prepared for the weekend ahead. On Friday I brought the children to the Prairie Wildlife State Park because I won tickets to Enlightenment Day of their Olde English Faire. Basically it's like a Renaissance faire, but a greater focus on teaching. Then we raced home in an insane storm to prepare for a our Great American Backyard Campout to celebrate Bean turning seven and Tey turning five. The rains didn't dampen the spirits of my kids and their friends during the 16 hours we spent partying (well, some sleeping too). 

Making and maintaining friendships is an important lifelong lesson that has been an intentional but difficult process for my kids. Seeing my children enjoying their friends' company and having fun outdoors together is an answered prayer in the making over the past handful of months. I had fun too! Who wouldn't love it when you're scarfing down grilled meats, catching fireflies, finding nature's treasures in a scavenger hunt, roasting s'mores, and just having a lot of free play?

After our friends packed up their tents (and one camper) and headed home, I headed to Indianapolis to the airport. Friends of ours were arriving from Ethiopia with their adoptive son. Talk about answered prayer! I've been praying for their adoption journey longer than my own children's social development! It was quiet an honor to be there to witness this most precious moment when their four year old daughter came running to welcome them home and to meet her little brother for the first time as they passed through the arrival gate.


I still can't help looking at this and getting flooded with emotions. The love of this family is just overflowing out of this picture and is contagious. I just happened to capture this shot, turning my simple camera phone into an instrument of spreading God's love to and hundreds of people who saw it on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and felt a joy come over them.

I'm not sure if I will ever fall into a pit of despair when my faith will be tried and I will doubt God's existence or love for me. If I ever do, please refer me to this post. It is just so clear to me that when I am willing and commited, God can use me...imperfect, broken me, in community with other believers, to help his kingdom come, his will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Update: So that picture got a lot of exposure between my friends and I through our Facebook and Instagram accounts. Then Jeremiah tweeted it in response to Sports Illustrated writer Richard Deitsch's question to his followers if they had a pictures of the single best moment of their life. Because of that one tweet, my picture of them has been on national television! First on Good Morning America then on CBS Evening News, and Fox and Friends Weekend. It was included on BuzzFeed too. Deitsch started a website called singlebestmoment.com as a collection of the pictures that came in. How unbelievable is that! It's great to be part of Good News ;)

Priceless Christmas 2012

Better late then never: Christmas post. So why and I posting this now? We just finished hosting our first Safe Families child and it brought to the forefront of my mind how nourishing to a child's development it is to be in an environment marked by peace and joy. And cuz I've been busy, aiight, and this was mostly written.
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Bo and I challenged ourselves this year to have a priceless Christmas. We wanted it to be filled with happy family memories, but didn't think that needed to cost anything. It's not because we can't afford to, but because we didn't want to participate in a lot of the commercialism, consumerism and stress that can surround the holidays that are supposed to be characterized by peace and joy.

We are blessed to have extended family who give gifts to our children for Christmas. In fact, there generally is an abundance and outpouring of generosity throughout the year but especially for Christmas, birthdays and Chinese New Year. We truly appreciate this demonstration of love. It gives our children something tangible to enjoy while remembering a loved one who cares so much about them that they spent their hard-earned money on presents our children would like. So it's not like our children are lacking in what has become the traditional gifts of Christmas.

So how did we come to this practice of giving gifts at Christmas anyway? From a Christian perspective, I wrestled this past season with the tradition of gift giving at Christmas. Is it because the wisemen gave gifts to Jesus? But, they were scholars and from a distant land who did not know Jesus personally nor did they interact with him ever again. They gave him extravagant gifts mostly for symbolism of who he was. Is it because God gave us the gift of Jesus? That was the most perfect gift! There's no competing with that. This year, I was more reflective on what Mary's gift was to Jesus, as she was his mother. Mary is a rockstar. Her life gets completely turned upside down, and still she maintains her cool. Peaceful. Joyful. You can't buy that. You can't wrap that.

Being their mom and the #1 person around them the most, I'm in a very unique position to give my children the three priceless gifts that no one else can give as much as I can: attention, affection and appreciation (thanks, Facebook, for the inspiration). Isn't that what all kids want from their parents the most?

Starting in the month of December, I laid the attention, affection, and appreciation on thick for my kids and we experience more peace and joy in this house than ever before. People feel listened to, loved and like they have a special and unique contribution to our family and the world, so there's a whole lot more getting along and fun. It's like magic, but it does take a lot of intentionality and patience...at least for me. It was a change I wanted to make to our home life not just for Christmas, but for our lifetimes because I want my children to remember that kind of mom and that kind of home and not just what I put under the tree.

So yes, we did put gifts under the tree too, but they were few and from the heart. They had minimal cost, but lots of love went into making them.

You can kinda get an idea of the sparseness of the gifts under the three here. This includes our family gifts as well as what my side of the family gave to the children (more on that later).

Bean and I made dough for cinnamon rolls and Tey a I baked them for Christmas breakfast. He learned how to make orange icing. The secret is in the zest! 

I made Mae a button monogram. Look how cute she is saying "M."
I got the buttons cheap from  the I.D.E.A. store and some from a generous friend.

Bo drew a snowy owl for Tey. I love their expressions of awe. 

A couple months ago Bean asked me to draw him a tiger. I took 5 seconds and drew him a cartoon one in markers.  I didn't know until later that he also asked Jon to do one and the result for Christmas was this. My husband never ceases to amaze me with his talents and his dedication to our kids. 

Tey learned to read this year, so I made some  bookmarks of some of his favorite books with the scrap paper from their book jackets.  This will be a encouragement to me too to keep reading to him a bunch. 

For Bo, the younger two and I made carmel corn from Bean's Boy Scout popcorn that were just popping kernels. 

Jon helped the kids make me marshmallows

Mae is the official taste-tester. Yum...soft, pillowy, sweetness, and the marshmallows aren't bad either!!

I also made Bean a shadowbox that holds his Tae Kwon Do belts that he's earned so far (white, yellow, orange and green. I wanted him to know how proud of him I am of his hard work with that and before this they just laid in his closet. Bo made me the most delicious brownies in the world and though I've been sharing, I think I've eaten half the pan just myself. A chocolate treat is a great motivator during the day :) I think Bean spent the most money this Christmas. He bought got everyone but me used books from the Urbana Free Library Book sale.

Mae loved her new book, which was in the style of some others she has. Tey immediately started reading his book. For Bo he picked out an AWESOME vintage edition of all of John James Audobon's paintings. It was perfect because just last week as Bo was finishing his animal drawings for the kids he was contemplating what it was like for JJA to draw all those birds. 

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Months later, looking back, I'm so glad we challenged ourselves to do this. We can see the HUGE positive results for our family dynamic, which has helped prepare us to be available to share our peace and joy with another child, if only for a couple weeks. Hosting a Safe Families child reminded me the importance of loving and secure relationships in the lives of children, regardless of amount of their possessions or toys. 

Bean has "The Jesus Talk" with Tey

It's almost Bean a year since Bean's been baptized and I still really haven't blogged our our faith journey. I'll get to it eventually.

Today he had a great conversation with Tey about inviting Jesus into your heart and I was sneaky enough to get it on camera. I can't believe my camera happened to be within reach, charged, and had memory left on it (like that ever happens with me!). I uploaded here onto YouTube, because I can't figure out how to embed it.

*Heart melts*

How awesome is that? I'll keep you updated about if/how this progresses. In the meantime, please join me in prayer that Tey continues to ask questions and grows in his faith. And that Bean continues to be contagious Christian and not a scary, judgemental, beat-you-over-the-head-with-a-Bible-Christian.

Bean Earned his Yellow Belt

Bean's first belt test for Tae Kwon Do was today. He's been looking forward to testing for a couple weeks now and has been really practicing his form. It paid off because he earned a yellow belt and I felt confident that he really earned it and it wasn't a formality. 

At the last test date when he knew his friends were testing he said, "I hope everyone moves up a belt." I responded that I hope everyone tries their best and if that deserves a belt, then I hope they get it, but if not, then I hope they don't give up, but try again next time. This seemed like a perfect time to remind him of the importance of trying your best, but that you don't always get credit for effort but sometimes you have to earn it by showing mastery or at least improvement. I also wanted to re-emphasize the value of perseverance, which we do a lot anyway in our house.

Here he is sparring. 

I wish I recorded what his sparring used to look like. He would hop all over the place, run away from his opponent or turn his back on him or her. He was also slower and less agile. Today he was fully engaged and diversified his kicks. He did all four that he knew, but I started recording after he had already done some others. I'm surprised they didn't have him do his poomsei, because Bo and I have really seen some improvement there. I might need to have him do it and I'll just record it.

In the meantime, look at this proud little man in his yellow belt :)

Lemon frozen custard to celebrate...cuz it's yellow

Update from Monday April 16th:
Today was his first day of class as a yellow belt. He got to state his name in front of the class and give everyone a high-five. 

Today also goes down in history as the first time that when I asked the question, "How was Tae Kwon Do class today?" he said "Great!" In general, his response to most questions like that is "good" despite the fact that Bo and I discourage the use of that vague word. It's it's like pulling teeth to get any clarification or descriptions about it too. He said today's class was great because he got to learn new things and he specifically mentioned a new yellow belt kick. Eureka! Has he realized that if you pay attention and focus you can actually have fun learning something new from someone else? Time will tell.

Tey's Words: Sweet and Sour

Several friends have told me that they find my "things my kids say" posts on facebook to be pretty hilarious, especially if you know my kids. I'm so glad people find it as funny as I do. Sometimes what comes out of their mouths is just so darn sweet too. Those quotes don't always make it on here because they are so short and random, but here are some from Tey I've been collecting.

After spending ONE night at his grandparents and wanting to come home the next day I asked him if the missed me. His response, "I didn't miss you, I just wanted my mommy."

While riding in the back of the van singing Cosette's Castle on a Cloud from Les Miserable "There is a lady dress in white, holds me and sings me a lullabuy...(then makes up his own lyrics)...I don't need a lady, I need a mommy..."

While the kids were playing in the playroom I overheard Tey try to convince Bean, "Mommy knows everything." Bean didn't buy it unfortunately.

I knew there was a good reason for recording these quotes in a draft post over the past couple months. I needed it as perspective today to stand in contrast to the harsh words barked by a frustrated and tired Tey during a fit right before naptime, "Why do you do everything to make me sad?!" 

He needed perspective too and he got it as I reminded him that today I took him out for pizza, we spent the afternoon at the park, and oh yeah, I taught him the commutative property of addition. 

Tey and I do math on the bathroom mirror a few mornings a week

Perspective, it was what we both needed to cool down that heated moment. A couple minutes later he apologized and we were snuggling in the rocking chair exchanging words of love while Bean and Mei cuddled on Bean's bed. 

Only with kids can you have the worse insult of the day hurled at you unprovoked, followed soon after by genuine reconciliation and a scene of complete bliss, like heaven on Earth. Oh, it's never a dull moment over here.

Happy International Day of Women

Being a mother is a tremendous responsibility, but for a daughter especially. 

I knew a daughter would likely look up to me more than her dad and I wasn't ready for that even when I was pregnant with Tey. Considering that I'm now a SAHM, it's ironic that it wasn't until I had graduated with my PhD and felt stable in my job that I finally felt ready to have a daughter. I was pregnant 2 months after being hired and a couple weeks after finding that out, the sono showed that it was a girl. I cried tears of joy as well as honor that God had chosen me to be her mother.

International Day of Women 2012

Mei is my sunshine. She has changed my life forever and for the better. Nothing and no one inspires me more to be a better woman so I can be a good role model for her. The burden is heavy even as she is just one year old. Though she has no idea about the oppression of our sex, it seems inevitable that she will not only know it, but experience it herself firsthand. 

Too soon will she be told she can't do something just because she is a girl. Too soon will she feel the pressure to dumb down her intelligence just for acceptance. Too soon she will be targeted by ads selling  products promising to make her more attractive to someone else. It both saddens and angers me to no end. 

So for now, I cherish her innocence. Many nights before I put her to bed, I hold her so tightly in my arms as if I can stunt her from growing up. Sometimes, I pray for her so hard that I'm on the verge of tears. I think of this song and it gives me some measure of comfort.

This year, International Day of Women with Mei was free from heavy messages about women's rights, our struggles and overcoming barriers. Instead, today we celebrated with some of Mei's favorites: books about ducks, solving her shapes puzzle, having a friend over to play, and one of our first successful ponytail (with the help of a couple clippies). 

It won't be long before I feel compelled to share with her the larger truth about being a woman, but for now I revel in her accomplishments as a 16th month old girl with nothing to hold her back. I hope that this day can be an annual reflection on Mei's womanhood and how we can foster that fully in other girls. It is with great optimism that I look to our girls' futures and anticipate seeing their potentials become their realities, especially for my own baby girl (who I'm trying to convince myself will always be my baby girl).

Being Good

Bean isn't a "good kid" and I'm not embarrassed anymore to acknowledge it.

Really, there's no confession needed because it's pretty obvious. Anyone who's been around him for even a short period of time, especially in a position of either authority (teacher, older relative, babysitter) or equals (friends, classmates, peers) has likely dealt first-hand with some of his challenges of impulsivity, attention-seeking, stubbornness and/or listening.

On multiple occasions, in multiple settings, by multiple children telling me about Bean's wrong behavior, it has become clear to me that they identify him as "the bad kid." About year ago I began to wonder if his friends at school might have been giving him that impression too (they certainly were giving me that impression). My hunch was confirmed a couple weeks ago when he told me that when he was in school he was "a bad kid," but now he's not anymore.

Bo and I rarely use "good" or "bad" to describe anything, definitely not our children. First off, those words are pretty vague and you always need additional words to describe what you really think anyway. When we discipline, we instead try to use different qualifiers to describe the choices, words, and actions of our children, not our children themselves, and then we relate it to the associated consequences. In addition, we try to express our optimism that anyone can make their wrongs right and they can start making more right choices more often (we especially do this when they are talking about "bad guys"). Lastly, if you know Bean, you also now how important it is that we remind him that it is not his responsibility to correct the behaviors of others, but just set the best example he can be.

Thankfully we are past the point where Bean believes the lie that's he's a bad kid. He came to this conclusion on his own too. I hadn't even realized the extent to which he believed it or else I might have tried more intentionally to convince him otherwise (though I doubt it would have made a difference). Right now I'm wresting with how important it is for me to help him be a "good kid" and if that should even be a goal at all.

I'm thinking it's not.

Certainly obedience in children is convenient for adults, especially when dealing with groups of children, like in a school setting. But, as Daron Quinlan said, "Disobedience is not an issue if obedience is not the goal." Think of any influential person in history. Where they obedient? None of the historical figures we've learned about recently in our homeschool were obedient. Galileo? Nope. He was a heretic, remember? Martin Luther King, Jr.? Not him either. He lead thousands in civil DISOBEDIENCE.

As a Christian, I do, however, want my children to be obedient to God's will.

Bean heart is probably more genuinely aligned w God's will than mine is. He more desperately seeks after God by reading the Bible to learn more about God. I don't ask him to read the Bible; he does it on his own and for long stretches of time too. Earlier this week when he was going to his grandparents' house for the night I reminded him to pack books to read. He packed his Bible among a handful other books. I didn't even know until we got there and I unpacked. He has a passion for prayer and for others. He will stop whatever he is doing to pray if he hears someone is ill or injured. Just this morning in the van he wanted to lead us in prayer when I told the kids that two of our friends were in a terrible accident earlier. He has a sense of social justice and generosity that I wish I had. He has two banks at home one for him and one for Heifer. His bank is empty, but the one for Heifer has every cent he's earned since the beginning of the year. "How can I think about buying something for myself when some people don't even have food?" he said yesterday.

All of this and his peers think he is a bad kid, yet yesterday a friend told me I was "good" because I had planned to do something charitable. Planned. I hadn't even gotten the courage to actually follow though on it. I have been dragging my feet about it, being completely disobedient to God's clear calling because of fear of how it would inconvenience me.

What Bean does in private is his of his own honest heart. A lot of what he does in public is to get attention. Isn't that backwards for most adults? We do "good" publicly to make it look like we are good people even if are intentions aren't pure. I know I can be guilty of that.

So as a parent of a child who Bean has probably hurt, or a children's ministry teacher of his who he's likely ignored, please forgive him. Please be patient with us as I try to teach him proper social behaviors. But also know that I'm not going to demand automatic obedience from him. Charlotte Mason reminds us, "Obedience is valuable only insofar as it helps the child towards making himself do that which he knows he ought to do. Every effort of obedience which does not give him a sense of conquest over his own inclinations, helps enslave him." From what I can tell, Bean has a natural obedience thing budding with God privately. I'm going to use that as a foundation to help him have better real life interactions with others. It's going to take longer, but I'm hopeful that it will have more long-term positive effects than me trying to teach him to just be a "good kid."

Unconditional Love

Are you on Pinterest? I am. It's an obsession. I'm an ideas kinda gal with sometimes little follow through, so like Johnnie 5, I want "more input!" and Pinterest delivers. I don't have a single creative bone in me and Pinterest lets me steal be inspired by others creativity.  For me, it's extremely cathartic to mindlessly pin, pin, pin after a long, tiring day of homeschooling. 

Speaking of long and tiring days, have I mentioned that homeschooling is long and tiring? Well let me tell you. It's long. And tiring. Maybe not for people who have been planning to stay at home or to homeschool, maybe not for people who have been doing it for a couple years, maybe not for people who have experience working with numerous children of multiple ages at the same time. But for me and especially as we are transitioning...my days are long. And tiring.

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids. But sometimes they drive me nuts!!! Late this afternoon was one such time when I took them to The I.D.E.A. Store to pick out some arts and crafts materials for Valentine's Day and for our homeschooling. That part was awesome. The I.D.E.A. Store is awesome. My kids were being awesome. It was in the parking lot when one of them made a very disappointing choice. Grrr! It took every ounce of my being to keep my cool, to not freak out and to try to make it a teaching moment. 

That moment was not made. I just had to bite my tongue because it was the end of a long, tiring day. I had used up the rest of my patience reserves 2 minutes prior when I attempted to keep them from messing around with the check out counter. I knew that nothing that would come out of my mouth at that point could be positive. So I kept it shut. We drove in silence. 

When we got home Bo took over and I disappeared upstairs to make this.

I'm gaining an appreciation for arts and crafts when before I thought they were pointless and just created something that would eventually end up in the garbage. If for nothing else this it calmed me. I channeled my frustration into bending the wire hanger. I loved the scratchy, natural feel of the burlap and knew that it would allow me to cut imprecisely and not worry about it having to look perfect. I just wanted to make something beautiful. It turned out better than I expected. Thank you Naptime Decorator for the inspiration.

I hung it on the offenders door. I want my kids to know that I love them unconditionally. Even after a long and tiring day. Even after they have committed an offense. We are all rough and all imperfect, just like this burlap heart. I need to remember that more about myself and about my kids.

Trying New Things

Perhaps nothing scares me more about being a SAHM than taking all my kids shopping. 

You've seen it before at the grocery store: Mom is trying to accomplish a simple task of getting food bought but her kid is crying, throwing a tantrum, running away, pulling stuff off the shelves or otherwise foiling her plans. When you have three kids, my thinking is that the chances of this happening are three times more likely. I may be wrong, but I have not been eager to test that hypothesis.  

Eventually this needed to be done and today was the day. I bribed the boys with promise of letting them each choose one fruit, whatever they wanted and we would eat it as soon as we got home. They were thrilled about this idea. I don't know if it was the free reign of the produce section or the immediacy of eating what they chose that was most exciting. Either way, they clearly felt it was a good incentive for them to use inside voices and stay close to me at the store. No doubt about it, I will be using this tactic again, possibly every time we go to the grocery store.

It was Tey who spotted the star fruit and asked what it was. I told him, and added the disclaimer that I had never had it before. With no hesitation, that was what he chose. Bean, who can be indecisive when faced with so many great choices for something new and usually relies on recommendations, also went along with this idea. 

At home we quickly devoured the two beautiful, juicy, not so sweet, super delicious star fruit, which left us wanting more. Even Mei-Mei, who is generally reluctant about new fruits (or any fruits for that matter), ate all that the boys were willing to share with her. Tey, in particular, was very generous with his. 

I'm so glad we were in a "trying new things" mood today. Because I finally dared taking all three kids to the store, now I am more confident about needing to do it again in the future. In addition, the kids dared to try a new fruit, it turned out to be AMAZING, and now will likely a new staple treat on our shopping list. As a new SAHM, these mini-accomplishments can really add up to help make this transition seem like it has more smooth spots than rough patches. I thrive on these moments.

Behind the Scenes with Tey

These videos were all taken within 5 minutes span. 

So I had about 10 minutes of this:

Then about 3 minutes of this snuggle fest.

Followed by 20 minutes of this when he continued to work on a beautiful and thoughtful Christmas present for Bean.

Never a dull moment with a 3 year old.

Bean's Baptism

Today, my 5 and a half year old son, Bean, got baptized.

Being quite honest, I have the most difficult time blogging about important events such as these. I'm just not good enough of a writer to convey what I'm thinking and feeling, and none of my attempts ever do it justice. But, for the sake of just getting it out there and sharing the great news, this post is just a taste of what happened.

He's been wanting to get baptized for just over two years now, but we've been somewhat holding him back to ascertain his genuine belief in Jesus and his ability to understand salvation at a basic level. On March 4th of this year, he prayed the prayer of salvation with our pastor. He's been invited to participate in baptism since then, but has been hesitant mostly due to a slight fear of drowning.

Since then he's been devouring the Bible and we've been really intentional about making faith part our everyday lives and conversations.  When another opportunity was coming up this Sunday, he said he was ready to take the plunge, literally.

I talked to him about the need to share his belief in Jesus and why Jesus is important. So I asked him questions, typed up the answers he told me, had him edit it into his story, and then he transcribed it to read at church. Yes, my 5 year old who HATES writing, copied this onto about 5 sheets of paper over the course of 3 days. He was not even nervous at all as he shared the following testimony.

"I want to give some information to you about Jesus. He did some good stuff for me. He forgives me when I make mistakes. Mistakes are called sins. Sins  make  you  supposed  to  not  go  to  heaven. But, God loves you too much that He sent Jesus to earth and for Him to save us from our sins. Jesus died on the cross so he could be the perfect, perfect, perfect sacrifice. Now I can be with God for ever and ever and ever because I invited Jesus in my heart and believe that he is my savior. I will still make mistakes, but I love God.  God is with me right now and I love him and he loves me. I want to get baptized because I believe in him."

Then, the baptism!



I'm such a proud mama. I am full of joy for the most important life decision that my son made and the public sharing of his faith that he did today. I know his decision to follow Christ will happen over and over again during his life and his understanding of this faith will change and develop over time. I too need to recommit myself daily to foster my own walk, so that I may better guide him.

Positive Reminders

Our second week of homeshooling is complete and I'm still alive to tell about it. This week was a little more challenging perhaps because the adrenaline has worn off, perhaps because I had higher expectations, perhaps because it is colder outside. I dunno.

What really helps is focusing on the positive. Each night I document what we did during the day and I am sure include some specific positive developments. Perhaps more seasoned homeschoolers have learned to shake off the feeling that there is always more we can and should be doing, but I struggle with this BIG TIME. Documentation reminds me that we are making progress, not just academically, but socially and otherwise.

Thanks to modern technology such as the digital camera, I can also capture the little sweet eaglets when they are acting their best and remind myself that they aren't monsters all the time. We started off with a rough morning of the boys not listening and being disrespectful at times. I made it through mid-morning, promising myself a wine break after the kids went to bed. We put the academics aside and focus on household chores and that's when I caught these.

In the first, Bean is teaching Tey how to fold socks. Keep in mind that Bean drags his feet at most household responsibilities. Last week he made the comment. "Laundry again? I just folded laundry yesterday..." Plus, I don't think I've ever taught him how to fold socks and I know DH hasn't cuz he doesn't even fold his own, just tosses them in his drawer. I don't ask the kids to match and fold their socks, but just to keep them in a sock draw and they can match in the morning. Bean initiated this on his own, for some reason decided that doing it in front of a mirror would help the teaching and was also super patient with Tey in his teaching. And Tey learned! I'm very proud of my boys. I'm glad I caught it. Ok here it is:

Right after the laundry was put away, Bean wanted to teach Tey how to read. This didn't go nearly as smoothly, so I taught Tey how to read "is" (Bean's idea from earlier that morning) and then Bean followed up with asking Tey to find the "is" in each page of "What Color is your Underwear?" It's so fun to see Tey learn from his older brother.

When the times get tough, moments like these are great reminders that we're doing ok. We did eventually finish our academic stuff, but even if we didn't, the family cohesion fostered today was a good enough accomplishment.

Now for that drink that I promised myself at about 10am.

Too Quick to Judge

"Are these clean?," Tey asked as he reached for a spoon from the dishwasher at one breakfast last week. After placing it at his spot at the table, I saw him headed back to the dishwasher and grabbing for more silverware. I assumed the worse. He's getting his grubby hands all over on my clean dishes! He's gonna try to get a fork to see how that works for eating cereal! He's gonna make a mess! He should just be sitting and eating! "Tey, what are you doing?" I asked in an accusatory tone. "Putting away the clean dishes," he replied innocently. I proceeded to lay on the appreciation for taking initiative in helping to keep our house clean.

by Neilochka

Why did I not expect better from him? Why did I assume he was going to inconvenience me with a mess? Would that have been such an inconvenience anyway...like I couldn't have just asked him to help clean up the mess later? That too would have been a great teachable moment, and lately I seem to be trying to avoid those instead of taking advantage of them.

This morning I was helping Bean cut his nails in the bathroom while Tey and Mei Mei were in her room playing. Right when I finish cutting the last toe, Bean asked me read a book to him and then I heard Mei Mei starting to fuss. "Not just yet," I said, "it sounds like your sister needs some rescuing from Tey." I walked into the room ready to talk Tey about taking toys from his sister, remind him to use gentle touches, etc. I saw him holding her head with one hand, his other hand in her face as, and she was wiggling to get free while growing more and more frustrated. After closer examination, I realized he was wiping her snotty nose with a tissue. Again, I thank Tey for taking initiative and helping his little sister.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I am too quick to judge my kids' behaviors for the worst. It's so discouraging when the tables are turned and someone does that to me. It really, really, REALLY bothers me. So, I feel awful that I do that with my own kids who, more often than not, are just trying to help. I don't even know how that has become my assumption. But no more!

With this post, I'm promising to change my perspective. I believe our kids will eventually fulfill our communicated expectations, whatever positive or negative. If we are quick to accuse, to blame, to assume, then we're setting them up for failure. I'm going to assume the best of their intentions and I think it will make a huge difference in the long run for them, but mostly for my own attitude. I know I need to lighten up a bit going into this homeschooling thing, and this is a good first step.

Waving the White Collared Shirt

I remember when this article was written 8 years ago about the so-called "Opt Out Revolution." My master's thesis that I wrote the summer later saught out to shed more light on the topic from college students' perspectives. At the time even though I wasn't yet married, the question was frequently on my mind: "Would I leave the work force when I had little ones?" No. Not me. Or so I thought.

Today I resigned my dream job after being employed there for almost 2 years. It was the first job I got after I finished my PhD and has been the only job I've ever wanted. I still can't imagine doing anything else for pay except this job. Given recent circumstances, however, it is no longer the ideal fit for me that it once was.

My kids need me more than ever and I too want to be a bigger part of their lives. There just simply is no way to do this in my current position. I felt like I was giving it my all at work, which to a certain extent I really enjoyed. Personal satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment of doing a good job are huge benefits for my being employed. Thankfully DH has always been supportive of my educational and professional pursuits, as lofty has they have been and despite the sacrifices he has had to make while I go full speed ahead. But there comes a point when such benefits do not outweigh the costs of being employed, as backwards as that sounds. I have been shouldering a lot of responsibility at work, which I felt was under-appreciated (or at least differently appreciated than they way I want to be appreciated). Raises, future earning power, upward mobility and promotions (even if promised, which they aren't) that an employer can offer for a job well-done really have minimal value to me. So while I got a relatively good raise, it did not compensate (and no amount allowed in the budget ever could compensate) the cost to me and my family of my being employed. I was also expected to take on more responsibility at work. When? How? I most certainly would have to take time and energy away from my family, which I couldn't do and be the mom and wife I want to be.

In the end, I just want to know that I can make a difference. Despite lacking skill, experience, training and patience, I'm fairly confident that I'll be able to make a difference in my family's life while homeschooling. All I need is an "I love you," every once in a while and I'm set! DH sent me a message right after I resigned saying that he was proud of me and my just heart melted.

Tonight I also went to a lecture on this book "Glass Ceilings and 100 - Hours Couples" (I know, perfect timing, right?) and the authors said no mother they interviewed who opted out regretted it (yet). I, as well, doubt I'll regret spending more time with my kids, though I might more frequently need an alcoholic beverage :). When I again decide to  reengage in the work wars, I'm fairly certain that my time out will translate into lower status and earning potential in the long-run, but I'm willing to take those hits and resulting battle wounds. At this point, I surrender and just want peace.

"Do not work for food that perishes but for food that lasts for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you, because the God the Father has set his seal on him." John 6:27

Risky Research Question

Research Question #1: Can I get wake up at 8am, drop Bean off at school and still make it to work on time?

Hypothesis: I can not wake up at 8am, drop Bean off at school and still make it to work on time.

Finding: After waking up at 8am scrambling around like a chicken with it's head cut off, and with much help from my superhearo husband, Bean and I got out the door at 8:20. I was able to get him to school soon after 8:30 and leave fairly quickly. On his way out of the van he did spill his cereal and about had a meltdown. I made sure I gave him the right amount of comforting words and hugs to let him know it was ok, and then I booked it out of there without guilt that I was abandoning him. The traffic lights were especially good to me and there were plenty of parking spaces close to my work. I made it to work ON TIME!

Conclusions: Despite being able to arrive to work on time, the amount of stress associated with running late make it not worth the extra couple minutes of sleep. It also does not allow for the unexpected of wrenches of kids, which should be expected to be thrown in sometime randomly. This time Bean recovered quickly from being upset, but I that might not have happened and then I would have had to chose between being there for my kid or being late to work.

Discussion: For me being a good mama bird means allowing for extra time for delays for just the occasion that an eaglet would need more of me for a longer time. I know that when I factor in time to account for my kids needing to take their kid time, life is a lot less stressful. Many times recently things run miraculousness smoothly, and we get to school early with a couple minutes of free choice time together! The fun we have together before I need to head to work, puts me in the right spirits to do my job knowing that my kids are also have a good time away from me. If you are a working mom, what do you do to help you feel like you are juggling work and family ok?