The Mat

As I walked through the chapel doors, I was about knocked over by the palpable sense of strength and courage that filled the room. It only intensified as we worshiped in song together. It so overwhelmed me, I almost had to sit down, but I remained steadfast in prayer, thanking God for bringing everyone there that night and for the opportunity to be in their presence.

My fellow worshipers were not pastors, nor church leaders nor any famous Christians. No, I was surrounded by substance abusers, addicts and people who have done time, people who were abused and those who have abused, some who have torn apart marriages and some who have had their marriages torn apart, others who have been sexually abused as children and still others married to pedophiles.

There was definitely desperation, pain and grief in the room as well, but it was infinitely overpowered by the strength these people brought with them to simply cross the threshold of that church and participate in this attempt at recovery. At least that's what I felt.

Did they feel it too? Did they know just how courageous they were to bring themselves there, broken, bruised, abandoned, addicted and betrayed, yet armed with hope for a better life and the will to DO something about it. Never in my life had I felt so honored to share in worship with a group of people.

I love them. They are real people. They are messed up. And so am I. And so are all of us because we are human. But they are admitting to it and seeking freedom from their mess. They are not weak for wanting help, they are heroic. I am blessed that a handful of these same people are my friends from my church. A couple of them have grown to be like family. Indeed, I am blessed beyond words.

But me? I'm a scaredy cat. Until my faith and hope outweigh my fear and concern, I am stuck here. Like those who I've heard come and park their car in the parking lot of this church we were visiting and can't will themselves to enter it, or those who drive into the parking lot only to circle back around to the exit. No, I don't have similar life histories as these folks, no big trauma or tragic event or addiction. Still, why can't I swallow my pride and regularly admit I need help or that I messed up, or that some part of my life just plain sucks and I want it better? I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this. We all need to rub shoulders more with people who motivate us to keep it real.

After experiencing this worship service and recovery ministry, and meeting with the pastor and other leaders, those of us from my church left feeling inspired and convinced that this was a necessary ministry for our church to start. Many also had a clearer sense of how they could minister to those who are experiencing what they have recovered from. I, for one, am excited about a ministry like this. I have no idea how I would be involved, all I know is that it is amazing to be around people who are willing to surrender so much of themselves at the foot of the cross. They get it. They totally get it, more than the Christian who "has it all together." *Points at self*

Meeting Ryan Chalmers of Push Across America

Our family has grown to be huge fans of wheel chair athletics. It started with noticing athletes training on Windsor Road with orange warning flags flying high.

When the Illinois Marathon began several years ago, we got especially excited to see them in action, even though it meant getting up extra early as they are the first to leave the starting line. We're so not early risers here, friends, so you know we love these guys.

Last summer we had the privilege of meeting several paralympians face to face and geting autographs, touching real medals, and trying out a real racing wheelchair!  One paralympian we got to meet was Ryan Chalmers. What a sweetheart! As with the rest of the team, he took time to chat the kids, answer their questions and listen to their encouragement about us watching on our computer and cheering from afar.

Yesterday we met Ryan for another huge event: his arrival to Champaign-Urbana on his trek across the country in his racing wheelchair called Push Across America. We waited about an hour at DRES, but Vinny's Pizza helped pass the time and as did running around on the shaded grassy area. Just about when I thought we might not be able to wait any longer, we heard and saw a campus police motorcycle leading Ryan and many other Illini wheelchair athletes down Oak St. We were thrilled. I couldn't contain my fist pumping. Even Mae was announcing "Ryan coming!"

The kids were eager to ask him questions and Ryan was super gracious again. Bean wondered if he crossed any bridges. Tey wondered if he got cold because it was breezy. Meanwhile, I was chatting with Ryan's coach Adam Bleakney, who is a friend from Bean's preschool days as both our sons attended the same school. WCIA caught this picture of us at the time. Yay, a pic of me with my old school glasses on! Allergy season sucks, but I digress.

Before we left, Ryan agreed to pose for a picture with Bean (the other kids were too shy). Bean really looks up to him and blogged about meeting him. When Ryan was on the radio today, Bean e-mailed in these additional questions. "What do you find difficult and what do you enjoy?" He loved that Ryan remembered him and answered his questions on the air!

Tomorrow Ryan pushes out again, and we plan to be up early to cheer him on as he leaves Urbana and heads east. This young man and all wheelchair athletes totally inspire me. They are great reminders to me about the importance of setting goals and not focusing on what you CAN'T do, but on what you CAN do when you set your heart on something. For myself and being a homeschool mom, I appreciate that message. Thanks, Ryan and best wishes!

Update: We missed him this morning. I wasn't inspired enough to go out in 40 degrees when I've packed away the kids winter clothes already. :( Our best wishes and prayers for safe travels are still with Ryan!

Teaching the History of Thanksgiving

While preparing for teaching about Thanksgiving last November, I'm pretty sure I did more research and with more enthusiasm than I ever had in any month of my life, even as a PhD student. Something about feeling solely responsible for my children's education motivated me to get my facts straight before passing it on to them. It was also my first month homeschooling too, so I was just plain freaking out.

When it comes to teaching social studies and history, I generally feel incompetent and underprepared, perhaps because as compared to other subjects, I am more critical about what and how I was taught it in school. For my own children's education, I definitely want to provide more context and also emphasize more about social justice, cultural studies, diversity, inclusivity, tolerance, and the link to our Christian faith (whether that paints Christians in a positive or negative light).

Below I review some resources that helped me and my children think more critically about the historical event that we've come to know of as a first Thanksgiving.

For ease and accessibility, I recommend anything by Plimoth Plantation. Plimoth Plantation located in Massachusetts is a museum/recreation of what the first colony of the same name would have looked like in 1627. For those of us in Central Illinois who are not close enough the take a field trip there, their online resources are fantastic. Children will especially enjoy the video game (I use that term loosely) "You are the Historian", where they will virtually explore the Plantation, investigate one of only two only primary sources of information about the first harvest feast, and hear about the Wampanoag people and their culture, particular their traditions of giving thanks. Last year, my 5 year old learned and remembered a lot from these online videos and from another one that we checked out from the library.

Bean's drawing of The Warrior Counselor of the Wampanoag, Habbamok
after watching some videos last year

Everything I've encountered so far by Plimoth Plantation attempts to teach history by encouraging asking questions, investigating primary sources and considering multiple perspectives while respecting cultural differences. These are great foundations to lay for students. It prepares them to investigate the complexities of American history, which is not always to peaceful, friendly, and neighborly as the stories of the first Thanksgiving would have us believe. In addition to the Plimoth Plantation materials, I just piece-mealed what I taught about colonists, Native Americans and Thanksgiving.

I used some basic guiding principles that I read about in this article called "Teaching Young Children about Native Americans." While I don't think it is a comprehensive list of what to do and what not to do, it really got me starting to think about how the history and culture of Native Americans are generally taught. If my child were in regular school too, I think this would help me guide (be it supplement or challenge) what my children are learning outside my home about America's native peoples.

For a more Native perpective on the holiday, "The Real Story of Thankgiving" on the the Manataka American Indian Council website is informative and heart-wrenching. The first two sections are difficult to read, mostly because they are so full of violence, (but isn't our history?). The final section "The Plymouth Thanksgiving Story" however, is geared toward children and tame enough for young and/or sensitive students to read. This should be required reading, really!

"Thanksgiving on the Net: Roast Bull and Cranberry Sauce"can be read on the website for the Society of the Descendants of the Mayflower (I didn't even know there was such a group). It attempts to set the record straight about common myths surrounding Thanksgiving by reviewing over 200 websites. It is cumbersome read at times, but well worth the read if you have the time and interest. If nothing else, I'd skim the main headings and some text. It certainly helped me identify some myths that I incorrectly assumed to be true. As with the previous reference, knowing the bias of the author is important in assessing the value of the piece, and a good lesson to pass on to the kids too!

As we approached Thanksgiving week this year, my husband commented that we haven't really "taught" anything about it yet. No, we have not done any formal lessons on the historical event and national holiday like we did last year. Instead, we have focused on truly being thankful and reflecting on what we are thankful for, as a family and as individuals. It has become part of our daily discussions and prayers. It's so simple I almost feel guilty about it, but it has set a great tone in our household that is so needed to replace the usual hecticness that generally surrounds our winter holidays.

While we may never know the exact and full historical truth about what happened in 1621 that lead to the holiday that we celebrate this week, we certainly can start writing our own stories about what this holiday means or could mean for each of our families. Lately I've been feeling challenged to rethink the deeper meanings of each holiday instead of just going with the flow of what everyone else does. This also includes delving deeper into the history of the holiday and tying that into our current traditions. It just seems that we've gotten too far from that with every holiday on the calendar. I'm completely convinced that having kids is the perfect opportunity to tweak our holiday celebrations if need be so we can better pass on the culture and traditions that are most dear to us. Which are most dear to you? How do they pass on your family history or stray from it?

Bean Logic: Faith and Feminism

Yesterday:

Me: Martin (Luther King) and Rosa (Parks) worked together
Bean: Martin organized a boycott and Rosa organized a girlcott.

I corrected him on that one.

Bean: I'm going to name my child something from the Bible. I'm going to name one of my kids "Sampson, the strongest man in the world. And I'm going to name one of my kids "Jesus."

Tey: Noooo, that's not right.

Me: [silent giggles]

Today:

Me: Today is International Day of Women. People all over the world are celebrating great things that what women have done. Can you think of any great women? [Hoping he'll say, "You, mom!"]

Bean: God. He is the best woman in the world. He can be a he or a she.
Me: Who told you that?
Bean: I don't know?
Me: Then why do people call God a "he" so much?
Bean: I don't know.
Honestly, I don't remember ever talking about God's gender, but I love playing devil's advocate with him. I assume he's going to get it much worse from other people, so I better give him practice, and a taste of his own medicine.

The Legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

In addition to the birthday breakfast, we've been learning a lot about Dr. King and his life and tragic death. Bean has been copying some of his famous quotes and in doing so has unintentionally (on his part) memorized some too. Funny story, after he wrote one, I asked him what he just wrote and his first response was, "I don't know; I can't remember all that." Then he recited verbatim, "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend." He was surprised by that. What a Sneaky Mommy I am! :) More importantly, we talk about what these quotes mean on an ongoing basis, throughout the day and over the past couple weeks. I really like the practice of reflecting on great thinkers thoughts.

As recommended by Charlotte Mason, for any subject, we rely heavily on living books. By far our favorite about MLK was this beautiful, poetic and short book.

Martin's Big Words: The Life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

It is a perfect introduction book for all my kids because it begins with Martin as a child forming his ideas about equality from his parents and the Bible. It has the author's words in black text and Dr. King's words in other colors. This made it fun to take turns reading with Bean (this was his idea). It emphasized for him the "Big Words" that were Dr. King's non-violent weapons in the fight for equality.

From it we were able to talk about the fairness of segregation laws, the courage needed to stand up for one's beliefs especially if they are against the current law, and the sadness of Dr. King being murdered. It's deep stuff, but we just touched on it. Here is Bean reading his favorite quote in the book, and the second one is another that he memorized from copywork.

Bean and I also worked together on this vocabulary sheet that highlighted a lot of the words we read about but don't hear very often, like "nonviolence," "boycott," "speech." Through conversation, I related the words to his everyday experiences and now we try to use the words more often to talk about the civil rights movement and other topics as well.

Bo and Tey also watched the "I Have a Dream" speech at home and Bean and I went to a public viewing of it followed by a discussion. At this point it is hard to assess what Bean took away from that experience. He asked a few questions during the viewing, but after was not actively listening to the discussion. Still, I participated in it and he was exposed to that, so it at least conveys the importance of reflecting on Dr. King's words and how to engage in dialogue about it while respecting the opinions of others.

I'm excited about Saturday because at a local performing arts center there will be a celebration in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. When we went two years ago it was an absolute blast, though I don't think my kids remember it now. This will likely wrap up my "lesson" so to speak on MLK, but the values we learned over the last view weeks will be carried on and we will continue to emphasize the virtues of Dr. King that are worth emulating for character development.

~~~~~
Funny things my kids have said in relation to MLK:

Tey: [After someone says "Martin Luther King."] "Martin Luther King, JUNIOR, maybe."

Bean: [Narrating to me a historical fiction story about Martin Luther King as a child and quoting what his mother said.] "Some white folks (which he pronounced "fox" until he asked me what it meant) believe that they are better than we black people."
(Yep, he actually said "we" in reference to being black, but then corrected himself.

Happy Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

As is our family tradition, every birthday is celebrated with a special birthday breakfast, usually picnic style in the bedroom of the birthday person. This Christmas we extended it to a celebrate the birth of Christ...all warm and cozy in front our fireplace. And today, you guess it, our family enjoyed a special breakfast (for dinner) in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. around the dinner table. In addition to the delicious food pictured below, we enjoyed some fun conversation inspired by the food, which was inspired by this important holiday.

It has come to be expected by our kids that birthday breakfasts include cinnamon rolls (we usually for the Pillsbury kind with orange glaze). Because this is now a staple celebratory pastry and I really want to reduce the amount of processed foods we eat, it was on of my bucket list of recipes to learn for this year. I followed this recipe and love the use of orange juice and orange zest. Buh-bye Pillsbury.

With some of the leftover juice, I sprinkled it on our fruit salad. We usually do one very "fun" fruit for birthday breakfast (like mango), but a fruit salad teaches us a lot about appreciation of diversity. The different shapes, colors, textures, and tastes of all the fruit are what makes fruit salad so great! I didn't  mention this to the kids, but it makes me cringe to hear the US referred to as "the melting pot." It sounds like we're all supposed to be exactly the same...kinda like if you pureed my fruit salad. Then you can't appreciate all the unique things that each fruit contributes!

Next going clockwise is a fried egg. You've probably heard of the children's activity where you show them a brown egg and a white egg and talk about how we make look different on the outside, but inside we're all the same.  I can see this going wrong...another "We're-all-the-same" "Our-differences-don't-matter" type-thing. In my opinion, differences do matter, and we should recognize them and appreciate them. So we did. Quite simply, different hens make different eggs, as do ducks, geese, etc. Then Bo transitioned to the more complex issue of judging by first appearances and also brought in MLK's famous quote, "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." We couldn't tell much difference between the two hen eggs based on what was on the inside. The colors and sizes were slightly different, but both kinds were good enough to eat. Once we cooked them, we couldn't tell which was which too, but everyone gladly ate what they were served.

Lastly, we had bacon. We made no significant connection there. It's just another special treat for a special day!

In a future posts, I'll review what we have been doing for the past week or so to teach about Dr. Martin Luther King and also emphasize of the importance of this national holiday. I hope you had a great day off, if you did! If you didn't do something meaningful to you or to your family in honor of MLK yet, I encourage you to do it. It's not too late! It doesn't need to be grand either. Let's just somehow recognize the impact Dr. King has had on this country and the civil rights movement. Let me know how you celebrated too! I like getting new ideas.

Christopher Columbus Would Have Put Me in Track 2

I spent my first nine years of my formal education at a Catholic grade school, in a fairly well-to-do neighborhood, where I was the only student of color in my class until 5th grade. That was when my school absorbed students from three other  parochial schools in the area while their schools of smaller enrollment closed their doors. I remember that a big stink was raised by some in our school about bringing in these other students and part of me now wonders if it was because of the diversity that they represented. 

That year, we welcomed about five new students into my class, 3 of which were tracked into "Track 2," almost doubling its size. This track, which included myself, had lower expectations for academic achievement and also set students on a trajectory for more technical education and then skilled labor. I was not being challenged academically nor was I applying myself. I remember Track 2 not being a good fit, especially once I realized what the difference was between the two groups. I wanted to be in the more challenging track and began actually applying myself academically. By 6th grade, my school allowed me to move into Track 1. My situation, however, was a rare case because generally students stayed in their track through junior high, which then followed them into high school and beyond.

Critically looking back at the situation, Track 1 and 2 were almost completely demarcated along racial and economic lines (based on my knowledge of students' residence in certain parts of certain neighborhoods, my proxy for family income). Students of color and/or those of limited means were in Track 2. I can't think of anyone from these groups who was in Track 1. Whether or not this was intentional by my school is a minor question I have, but more importantly that trend is yet another example to me of the systematic prejudice that exists about abilities of certain groups of people. And for that, it's harder to point a finger of responsibility. 

At least in the States, many prejudices that exist today can be traced back Octotber 12th, 1492.

"...they [Natives] are the color of the Canarians, neither black nor white...They should be good servants and intelligent, for I observed that they quickly took in what was said to them, and I believe that they would easily be made Christians, as it appeared to me that they had no religion. I, our Lord being pleased, will take hence, at the time of my departure, six natives for your Highnesses." (Recorded in Columbus' journal on October 12th, 1492)

The day Christopher Columbus first meets the indigenous people of this land, his first thoughts are of their value as servants and his immediate plans are to take six of them back with him to give to the King. Just imagine how things in the States would have been different if the Americas were "rediscovered" by someone who did not believe in the intrinsic supremacy of wealthy, educated, White, male Catholics (and Christians).

There is a clear link between Columbus' interactions with Native Americans and how I was tracked in grammar school. Tracking doesn't exist to address students' individual learning needs for their own self-betterment through education. If it were for that reason, we'd see more fluidity among the tracks and greater diversity within the tracks. Tracking would be based on assessment and not prescription. Students would also be educated about the implications of being in certain tracks and would have more freedom to chose a track for themselves (even if it meant demonstrating their fit in that identified track).

No, to me it seems that much of the inequality that exists in education is necessary to sustain a hierarchy for the powerful to remain in power. The lower classes are therefore educated only so much as to make them intelligent servants to those in power. In this country that hierarchy began the day that Cristobal Colon set foot on this land.

So, I encourage you to "Reconsider Columbus Day."

"Reconsider Columbus Day" PSA from Carlos Germosen on Vimeo.

There are many Columbus critics out there, and this in example of a fairly reputable one, but nothing can beat one's own deep investigation of primary sources. Eventually with the kids at homeschool, I plan to read through more of Columbus' journal to better understand his thoughts and feelings from his own words and to contextualize it in history. One of the major attractions of homeschooling is teaching history from a more culturally relevant perspective. This weekend we got a bunch a free books from a local library and I purposefully avoided any history or social studies books because as the saying goes "history is written by the victors." I want to make sure my kids are learning a more balanced account of history. I want to place more emphasis on the struggles and the resilience of those who were and are marginalized because in some situations (like with my tracking), I'd count myself as part of that group. 

She Works Hard for the Money...eh, eh...eh, eh

Lazy summer is not in my vocabulary. Despite working at a university, my summers are not downtimes because I coordinate the TRiO Ronald E. McNair Post-Baccalaureate Achievement Program which has an intensive Summer Research Institute of 27 students. Going into this job, I knew that meant that my summers would be intense too.  This year, however, is especially stressful compared to last year, because last year I had a supervisor who was highly involved and did much of the coordinating. This year, I am doing her work, plus my work from last year. Whew! It's been a great learning experience,though. I've always had trouble delegating, but I've had to do that more or else I just couldn't get it all done!

Despite all the stress, I still love this program. As an alumna, I am a success story of the program, having earned my PhD (not to brag, just to point out what the purpose of the program is and my commitment as a scholar). And now, it is truly a privilege to work for McNair and see my Scholars develop over the summer. They come in shy, inexperienced, rough around the edges, and they leave confident, skilled, and polished. I know for me it changed my life in one summer and I hope to do that for my students too.

Unfortunately, McNair and other TRiO programs are financially threatened due to federal budget cuts. The worst case scenario (in my biased opinion) is the very real possibility that ALL McNair programs nation-wide will be defunded. This would be an absolute tragedy. At my institution alone, we've seen at least 34 alumni earn doctorates in the past 5 years. These are earned by people from low-income families, who's parents did not got to college, and/or who are underrepresented in higher education. That is quite a feat!

You can help me possibly save McNair and other TRiO Programs by signing this petition.

I've personally been debating about working and having a family, and if this job is the right fit for me at this time. I'm still thinking and praying about that (and would appreciate your prayers). If this program is defunded, however, I'll be out of a job. More importantly, literally hundreds of thousands of students will be affected.

I'm fighting for this job, even if I were to eventually leave it. I'm working hard for McNair and to get the word out so the feds will keep funding TRiO programs! Thus the reference to Donna Summer's great hit:


What's up with the dude in the yellow shorts and knee guards?