Avoiding Patriot Day 2012

September 11th will always be a horribly sad day for me.  My dad worked at the World Trade Center just months before the attacks and on this day in 2001, I couldn't for the life of me remember if he still worked there. I couldn't get a hold of him. All lines were down. Where was he? All I knew was that he was in the city. Would I ever hear from him again? Hours and hours past with too many questions and emotions to bear. Later that night we connected on the phone. He told me how he made it out of Manhattan on foot through smoke and over bridges while chaos and fear surrounded him as densely as the thousands of people trying to escape for their lives along with him.

I can't even look at the lower Manhattan skyline nor the 9/11 Memorial without tearing up. Those are tame compared to images of smoking towers, people running, rescue attempts at ground zero and everything else that just gets more graphic from there. Forget about video footage of that day. It's too much.

Honestly, for 11 years I've actively avoided most news coverage about the attacks because I just can't wrap my head around idea of how such an event could happen, and the media's spin on it makes it worse. Being from New Jersey, I have friends and family too closely connected to those events. I respect  and appreciate hearing and reading their personal stories, remembering both tragedy and heroism. It's not like I don't think Patriot Day is important, I just want to remember the day quietly and through loved ones with true ties to that event.

As a homeschooling parent, I've also decided to postpone covering this topic for a while. There is enough other history and social studies out there for my kids to learn, and we already have to discuss tragedies such as war and slavery at a most basic level just to understand other things. It is difficult to learn about innovation without also discussing war, because they are all too often so interconnected. And I refuse to teach about American history without also teaching African American history, and emphasizing that the current injustices today have roots in American slavery. So Bean knows what war and slavery are in general, but I've spared him the details of rape, lynching, brutal violence and the unnecessary loss of innocent lives that tend to go along with those atrocities. 

I just can't think of a way of explaining 9/11 at a basic level to young, optimistic and sensitive children. There is nothing in their world to remotely compare it to that would help them make any sense of it. Then there is the question, of "Why?" I don't think I can begin to touch on that. It goes deeper than the greed, power struggles and selfish desires that they understand even in their own lives and I can use to help explain why war and slavery exist. Books won't help. I really don't want my kids seeing those images from that day that I still have visceral reactions to. Video documentaries would just haunt their thoughts, as both boys are highly sensitive to visual media. This topic is just too intense to just touch on without opening a can of worms that I'm sure would leave my kids questioning humanity.

So for now, a remembrance of 9/11 by our family is on the back burner. With the kids not in school and us not big TV watchers, today is a typical happy and simple day like any other for the Eaglets. With cooler weather, we anticipate the coming of fall and the special blessings that has to offer. Today we enjoyed extra snuggles under warm blankets in the morning and we made our first batch of squash soup of the season. 

Bean shaves nutmeg for our first squash soup of the season

There is a slight guilt I feel for not even mentioning that today is Patriot Day to the kids. Greater is the relief that I have control over what they are exposed to at this young age. They only have a short time to be kids and not have to worry about such things. There will come a time when it would be ignorant of them not to know what happened on this day eleven years ago. I just hope that I can be a good judge of when will be a good time to discuss it and that I have the words to help them understand this most tragic of days. 

Video Highlights from the Summer

For some reason, if I don't frequently and repeatedly do tasks that have steps that need to be followed in a specific order, I just can't remember it. This is the case with storing our pictures and videos on our external hardrive. Bo ends up doing it each time because I can't remember how to do it and he hasn't taken the time to write up instructions for me. Now that our memory card is about full, he'll be doing that for me soon, which brings me to the reason for this montage-y post.

I also can't remember how to take pictures OFF the hard drive to upload onto blogger or facebook. So, I'm putting a bunch of unrelated videos all in one post, before they are out of my reach FOREVER! Ok, not forever, but basically to me, they are gone. So here goes!

While we do try to emphasize manners, Tey takes saying "Excuse me" to a whole new level. He'll say it even if you are in the middle of a one-on-one conversation with him, and even while circling around on a carousel at Indianapolis Zoo. (5/22/12)

Summer memories with siblings. Melts my heart. (5/26/12)

When we decided to homeschool, one of my biggest worries was how to teach Tey to read (Bean already knew how by the time we pulled him out of preschool). In some ways I feel like I can take no credit for Tey's reading. We didn't use a curriculum or anything, just read together a bunch and it seemed like one day he could do it! Here he's reading a library book for the first time with Bo, so it's not memorized.  Hopefully teaching Mei to read goes this easily. (5/28/12)

In this video, Bean wanted Mei's attention. Trying to get it was proving futile. I asked him to look as boring as possible. He kept giggling about it, BUT IT WORKED! She went right for him. (5/31/12)

Bean just adores his little sister. He specifically remembers praying for her a little sister and having his prayers answered. He frequently tells me that he thinks that she is the most beautiful in our family and in the whole world (he never hears this from me, I try to never talk about her beauty). Here's more big-bro-lil-sis love. (5/31/12)

Mei has been doing pretty well keeping up with two bring brothers. She has a pretty good roar as you can see here. Bean also demonstrates the strength of a dragon by picking up a brachiosaurus. Pretty impressive stuff, huh? (6/8/12)

Bean has been enjoying Rudyard Kipling. Here he's reading Just So Stories, specifically, How the Whale Got Its Throat. (7/2/12)

 

Speaking of reading, here's another of Tey. While I'm sure we had read this before, it was not recent enough for him to have it memorized as you can tell because he skips a line and then as to go back. (7/2/12)

Some Tae Kwon Do highlights from his last belt test. (7/14/12)

We had our church's first vacation bible school and it was our kids' first too. It was INSANE because it was during the week of our move. Still, it was an amazing experience for our whole family. Bean was very timid in doing these songs during the week, but for the performance on Sunday, he rocked it out! Tey opted out of performing. (7/15/12)

Mei loves "Tey!' Excuse the boxes and random junk everywhere, we just moved in. (7/24/12)

This clueless fawn visits daily, sometimes as close at 10 feet away if you are still and quiet. This video also gives you an idea of how big our new backyard is. Thankfully, our neighbors mow for us. (7/30/12) 

I've become a brave soul and these shells don't bother me any more. It took much courage on my part, convincing myself that they are empty and lifeless and won't hurt me. Meanwhile, the kids love them, especially Bean. (8/3/12)

There was a picture of the final result of this, but here's Mei falling asleep at lunch. (8/3/12)

In another life, Bo and I used to teach dancing together. Starting simple with Mei, I cheorogpraphed this little number for her. (8/30/12)

Tey and Mei covered a box with paints outside one day. We actually spent the whole day outside because Hurricane Isaac was about to hit us keeping us indoors for a couple days. Torture! My kids have really grown accustomed to getting out every day. (8/31/12)

Yay! Now we're all caught up with videos. I'm going to try not to get so behind anymore, but I make no promises.

Dreaming of Chess

Last week Bo taught Bean how to play chess and one night they went to the library together to pick out some books on the topic. Since then, Bean has been OBSESSED with the game.

Every night he can't wait until Tey and Mei go to bed so he can have special time with his dad to play chess. During the day he's reading chess books to learn strategy. Yesterday, during quiet time, any time I peeked in on him in his room, he was playing chess by himself. Then he told me that he's been dreaming about chess every night. No surprise!

On Sunday night I went to to tell him "lights out" and this is what I saw. He had fallen asleep reading one of his chess books. The others were close at hand.

This morning I went into his room to wake him up for our homeschool co-op orientation and I found that he had gone to bed with his chess pieces. There were more under his blankets!

Multiplying Mozarts

"When Wolfgang got married he had six children. That's two times our children," exclaimed a surprised Bean while reading a biography of Mozart.

As predicted math has turned out to the the only subject that we have a purchased curriculum for and we use regularly (about daily). We actually have yet to reach the multiplication part, but we start it tomorrow. Bean has been very looking forward to it. We've been working through the Singapore math curriculum in order and in entirety because I'm afraid to skip or jump ahead, and he has thankfully been patient with that. 

He has zipped through most of the previous topics else with ease. I just have to explain something once and he gets it. It makes me wonder if he knew it before I "taught" it. He almost never makes mistakes (it's like weeks in between mistakes), so we move on . Only recently with subtraction with borrowing (e.g., 36 - 8 = ?), have we done multiple days of practice. He was figuring it out problems in his own unique way and not using the strategy taught in the book. So while he was getting the answer right, I wanted him to get used to the strategy because I've found that with Singapore math, strategies are generally built upon in later books. Still, I'm glad he has a level of comprehension of math that he can quickly and correctly do mental calculations. Admittedly he's better than me; more that once I thought he was wrong and it turned out to be me!

This just reminds me of a quote I saw on Pinterest a couple months ago:

If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you.

If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.

-Unknown

Bean sure is determined to multiply and there is no stopping him from making sense of his world with multiplication. It will be fun to see how he takes to it tomorrow. 

Tey has really been enjoying math too. This year we got him his own Singapore math books, so I think he's feeling extra studious. Today he kept wanting to do more and more. Eventually I had to tell him that we had to stop because I need to get some other stuff done around the house and he can't quite work independently yet.

Meanwhile, Mei was at the table coloring in a coloring book and pasting Tey's leftover cut-outs into it. It was so precious. She always loves copying what her brothers are doing. A part of me feels like I should have more organized activities for her, but so far she enjoys coloring, drawing, and play doh type things while we do table work with the boys.

First Day

My Facebook feed has been filled with cute pics of my friends' kids having their first days, mostly first grade, because that's the age Bean is.

I love their eagerly smiling faces and their backpacks that are generally too large for their bodies. Their outfits are picked out specially for the occasion, as well as their lunch. I can just smell the anticipation of a new box of crayons and hear the crack of a composition book being opened for the first time. I miss that. Honestly, I mourn not having that exciting day that kicks off a new school year.

Yet, I am also rejoicing that the first day or any day of a brick and mortar school is not currently a part of our lives.

Bo and I were woken up at 9am. Bean came bounding into our room with excitement that he taught Mei three new words, which she then recited after him. I can't even remember what they were because my mind was still cloudy with sleep. Sleep. At 9am. Awesome. Note: Tey spent the night at my in-laws, which is why he is noticeably absent from this post.

We were at the library soon after 10 because I had a homeschool meeting. Bean read independently just outside the door, but I could see him through the glass walls of the meeting room. Another mom and son arrived later than we did and the boy took a seat in a chair next to Bean. Though he was a couple years older than Bean, they hit it off immediately and were talking, smiling, giggling and otherwise planting seeds of friendship. Later I came to hear from Bean that they were discussing the book he had brought to read, a retelling of Mozart's The Magic Flute, which the other boy had also read. Let's recap: two boys of different ages began a friendship on their own by discussing an opera. I'm pretty sure that generally doesn't happen at school. Bean's excited to play with this boy again at next month's "Not Back to School Party" where he's also going to learn his name. We're still working remembering to ask people their names.

We got to spend another hour at the library because we had some time to kill before Tae Kwon Do. It was a perfect opportunity for Bean to thumb through a copy National Geographic Kids. In our planning about what to learn this year, Bean specifically said he wanted to learn about geography. So we've gone back and forth with the idea of getting him a subscription to that magazine (he wants it, but we could save the money just going to the library, and he hasn't decided about that yet). Since watching the Olympics and finding the countries in our atlas, he has also been really interested in looking at maps and atlases, learning about the legend, compass rose, scale, symbols, and state flags, and imagining what it would be like driving across various states. We're biting the bullet and going to buy this map of The Essential Geography of the United States. If you want in, I'm looking for one more person to buy with us to get the 6-pack discount. We still need a globe too. We've also been reading Paddle-to-the-Sea, and taking notes on the geography, animals, vocabulary, and imagery in the book. We take turns writing, because he's still not a big fan of that. It's hard to tell how long his interest in this topic will last, but his current geographical knowledge already exceeds school standards before what would have been his first day of school. We're gonna be ok. I still have to remind myself a lot.

After an hour of Tae Kwon Do and a picnic, we spent most of the rest of the day outside with Bean riding his bike and me weeding. After two or so weeks of borrowing a balance bike from a friend, we tried his bike with no training wheels and it was like he's been riding a two-wheel bike forever! He's gotten over much fear, and also personal struggle. So many things come very easily to him that it's difficult for him to stick to something that takes practice and that he can recognize right away that things are not going well (e.g., writing, bike riding). This is a great accomplishment for him because it took time investment and there were many bumps and scrapes along the way trying to convince him to give up. With no school schedule or homework, we can enjoy much more time outdoors, exploring nature and engaging in physical activity, which are good for the body and the soul.

There are even more reasons that I've grown to really love homeschooling, but this is just what came up based on what happened today. Yes, some days are hard but overall, I wouldn't trade this ever. At the same time, I'm so happy for all my friends whose kids started this week and I hope they have a blast this year.

Today my thoughts and prayers were very much with all the teachers who are back-to-school, especially the moms who are away from their own children to teacher others' children. It humbles me to think about the multiple and huge sacrifices teachers make to educate masses of children when I compare it to the small personal sacrifices I sometimes feel like I make to teach my three kids at home. It's easier for me to focus on all the hardships and struggles of homeschooling and being a stay-at-home-mom, but today, I choose joy.

Bite!

There are at least two circumstances in which I find my children to be undeniable adorable. One is after a long tiring day of mommy working really hard and they are all peacefully sleeping. Can I get an AMEN? 

The second is when they are eating, especially when they are feeding each other. 

While I Was Ignoring My Kids

Today one of the homeschooling moms I follow on Facebook posted about a pet peeve of hers: "Moms who spend all their time online chatting with friends ABOUT homeschooling/unschooling while not actually interacting with their kiddos! Makes me crazy!"

I have been plenty guilty of finding pet peeves in others when I should not be one to judge. When I was a working mom, I sometimes wondered how SAHMs found time to tweet, update their Facebook statuses or blog. Aren't they supposed to spend every second with their kids? I know I wanted to use my nights and weekends to spend as much quality time as possible with my kids. It wasn't until I majorly shifted lifestyles that I realized just how much I can't use my standards to make assumptions about other people's lives. Wasn't I supposed to be working anyway, and not worrying about other people? 

I pray that in other aspects of my life God peels away my ignorance and replaces it with compassion. I still have a long way to go. 

This homeschooling mom shaking her finger at other homeschooling moms was pretty shocking to me. Up until now, I have found the homeschooling community to be some of the most open-minded and tolerant people of each other, even the extremists. EVERYONE has been encouraging of one another and me, even when there were differences in opinion, philosophies, strategies, religions, etc. I'm indescribably grateful for all the support, including the online ones, I've received for almost a year. I also appreciate challenges for improvement, when delivered with care and understanding, not condemnation.

I'll be the first to admit that my homeschooling schedule/routine/whatever is nothing to brag about. We're still figuring things out, but we get done what I feel like we need to get done everyday. On days like today, which are most days, the academic stuff gets done well before lunch. So, the kids got to spend from 11ish until 4ish outside riding bikes, exploring nature and playing on the play structure. I spent more time than usual on the internet on the front porch and on the back patio just being available to them if they needed me. Thank you wireless internet. Yes, I was messing around on Facebook a bit, but I also researched how to care for luna moth caterpillars (we got a dozen today from a new homeschooling friend), how to eat black walnuts (we have a ton in our yard and I was wondering how edible they are), and I tried to identify a fragrant bush growing in the garden adjacent to our patio (still unsuccessful). 

During the times when I was not directly interacting with my children, the boys grew tremendously in their independence and interdependence, coming up with games and rules and role plays. They really strengthened their sibling bond, acting mostly like two peas in a pod. This was a welcome change from earlier this week when they were at driving each other nuts. Mei also learned a lot while I was not directly interacting with her and much credit is due to her big brothers. At dinner, Bean and Tey took turns listing off to their Daddy all the things their little sister learned today. It included what tic-tac-toe was, how to say "balance," how to climb up the stepped ramp of the play structure, how to climb up the slide and how to go down the slide all by herself. 

They are so proud of her!

Though I felt like I was on the computer for a long time today, I am confident that giving them their space was not detrimental for them but beneficial. We're so ready for these luna moths! Plus, we collected a huge pile black walnuts, though I'm not sure if we'll actually eat them. :) Most importantly, my children they  grew together and because of each other. I am so proud of them too.